Unreasonable demands

31 January 2008 - 17:41

In the post today we received a letter entitled "Monthly Inquiries into the Distribution and Services Sector", sent by the Office for National Statistics. It included a form asking us for our total turnover for the period 1 January 2008 to 31 January 2008. But get this. It stated "Please return your data by 7 February 2008. Failure to make a return can incur penalties." So we have to stop what we are doing and work out our income for the month right now, not at our own convenience, or we'll get locked up or something. Do bureaucrats have any idea what it's like to actually have to earn a living, instead of just turning up for work and spending taxpayer's money?

We are a small, husband and wife business. Since the sole employees are husband and wife, inevitably when we go on holiday there is nobody at the office. Since our business is internet-based and looks after itself most of the time, we don't actually need to be at an office at all. We could take off for Spain for a couple of months (a very attractive prospect at the moment as it's a howling gale outside, and freezing) and run the whole thing from an internet cafe. Except we wouldn't be able to answer unreasonable demands for instant information to satisfy some statistician on the government payroll.

We pay our taxes. What more do they want?

The form goes on to state "While your employment is less than 10, you will be included in just this one business survey and receive no more than 15 monthly questionnaires." Only 15? Well, that's a relief!